When you become a dad, you don’t get a handbook on how to do it. At least I didn’t. The truth about being a dad is that it’s the sum of a ton of trial and error. That’s how it feels for me, anyway. There are moments where you feel that you did something right and there are (for me) more moments you feel you could have done better.
I’m blessed to be a daddy to two little girls. They are sources of joy and sources of frustration (it’s okay that I be honest, right?). Our toddler is as stubborn as her daddy and her mommy (we are both stubborn, don’t tell her I told you). As Father’s Day quickly approaches, I have begun reflecting on what I’ve learned as a dad. Problem is, I feel very strongly that I haven’t figured out much.
The Truth About Being a Dad: I’ve Got No Clue!
It’s odd and unfortunate that, for many, Mother’s Day is a day of celebration while Father’s Day is a day to just get through. Too many people in this world have grown up without a father. And it’s interesting (and ironic) that the same generation who gets frustrated about participation awards is the same generation who has seen countless number of kids grow up with a father who never even participated. How rewarding it would have been for their kids if they simply showed up!
But this is the stigma, the real reality for many that we must redeem. I’ve seen, at least in my circles, an abundant amount of dads in my generation step up and show up. We’re young (and maybe a little dumb), but we are there and our kids will be better for it.
I suppose that’s the one thing I have figured out: step up and show up. Such a low bar of expectation, isn’t it? But this is where everything begins – being there. And from there we begin to really see, we’ve got no clue.
Trial. Error. Rinse. Repeat.
Step up. Show up.[shareable]Being a dad boils down to this: Trial. Error. Rinse. Repeat.[/shareable]
I wish I had all the answers as it relates to being a a great dad. At least then I would deserve a coffee mug or a shirt bearing the title. But I know the truth about being a dad. For me, I know less about this whole dad thing today than the day before my oldest was born.
Kids are humbling. If they are strong-willed (mine most certainly are), they’ll push and push and push.
Kids are loving. They just want to be with daddy and mommy (at least they show it when they are young – the desire never leaves).
I love my little girls, but I’m sorry to say that I’ve got no clue on whether I’m setting them up well for life or if I’m doing more harm than good.
But still…
Trial. Error. Rinse. Repeat.
Step up. Show up.
Maybe if I do that enough times I’ll be able to write a book about 44 keys to being a great dad. You know, something really epic that will be a bestseller and allow my family to take a vacation in Europe or somewhere real vacationy. Who am I kidding? I’m outnumbered. The girls will decide!
Encouragement for Other Clueless Dads
If you’re clueless, odds are you’re in the fight of raising kiddos or you’ve fought the fight already and sent them into the world. I think this place of cluelessness is actually a good place to be. We’re in this for the long haul. We’re showing up and trying our best.[shareable]We’re in this for the long haul. We’re showing up and trying our best. #DadLife[/shareable]
We’re reading books from those who have gone before us. We’re trying to get little nuggets that will help us make a positive impact in our children’s lives rather than ruin them.
Trial. Error. Rinse. Repeat.
Step up. Show up.
Reality is, our children simply need us. They don’t need the perfect Facebook version of ourselves, but they simply need the real us. They see our flaws anyway.
If you’re a fellow clueless dad, then welcome to the club. Grab the shirt! Grab the coffee mug! But don’t be surprised when it says #1 Dad because for your kiddos, you are their #1 because in their world, you are all they need. You may spend the day comparing yourself to someone else, but your kids just want you.
Nothing But Me to Offer
Here’s the rub: we want the best for our kids, but at the end of the day all we can really offer them is ourselves. And if you’re like me, you don’t immediately default to thinking “me” is the best for your kids.
But that’s all I’ve got. I’m clueless as to how this is really supposed to go. I’m in the daily battle of… you guessed it…
Trial. Error. Rinse. Repeat.
Step up. Show up.
Sure, I have a plan, as I’m sure you do as well.
We want to teach our kids right from wrong, how to treat people with respect, how to love God, what it means to find their identity in Christ, how to serve others, and an assortment of other great goals that show up on blogs every year around Father’s Day. They’re great goals to have.
But the question always becomes, how in the world do I do THAT?! I’m clueless. All I can do is…
Trial. Error. Rinse. Repeat.
Step up. Show up.
To all you dads out there who are there with your kids, thank you. Your kids are already better for it.
To all you dads out there who are afraid to be in your kids’ lives because you’re afraid of ruining them, please realize your presence is your present to them. Step up. Show up.
Will the clueless dads please step up. Your shirts and coffee mugs are here. Well done. Now keep going.[shareable]Will the clueless dads please step up. Your shirts and coffee mugs are here. Well done. Now keep going.[/shareable]
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