We live in a fast-paced, distraction-abounding world. This makes it hard to be compassionately aware of our surroundings. We coast through our days, worried about simply getting by that we fail at seeing. We fail at being sensitive to what people are going through. But all is not lost. We can experience something different.
Recently I, along with many others, have read the effects of many people failing at being compassionately aware. Wentworth Miller, the lead actor in the popular show, Prison Break, was the subject of a viral meme. The meme was a side-by-side comparison of him during his time working on the show Prison Break, and what he looked like in 2010. He gained weight. That is what people saw. What they didn’t see was what was going on in Miller’s life that led him to the weight gain.
“In 2010, semi-retired from acting, I was keeping a low-profile for a number of reasons. First and foremost, I was suicidal,” said Miller in a Facebook post responding to the meme. This is just one example of the effects of someone not being compassionately aware of another person’s life. Miller went on to explain that he has struggled with depression since childhood. He didn’t open up to many people at all about what he was going through. But that doesn’t change the desperate need this world has for Christ followers to be compassionately aware of people and what they may be going through under the surface.
4 Valuable Lessons That Will Make You Compassionately Aware
1. Hurt People Hurt People
The sinful nature of people is abundantly easy to see. Everywhere you look – in-person and online – there are people who have been hurt taking out their hurt on others. Bullies bully people because they are bullied people. People speak negatively about you or at you because they have their own issues.
The quicker we can see this reality, the quicker we can begin to look at others with new eyes. Eyes to see their true reality.
We are called to love our neighbor. We are called to love our enemy. If we are going to really do this, we have to get past the surface.
The surface says: this person is being rude, mean, hurtful, nasty, etc…
Compassionate awareness says: this person must be going through something, I wonder what it is, I wonder how I can help…
Be compassionately aware of the fact that hurt people hurt people and then go help in some way.
2. Suffering People Usually Stay Silent
One of the most difficult things to do in the midst of depression or some kind of deep hurt is to talk about it. Suffering people usually stay silent because breaking the silence would cause them to be exposed. Many look at emotional struggles as something to feel ashamed of. They don’t want people to know what’s really going on inside. They don’t want you to add to their suffering by giving them some encouraging Bible verse that should, in your mind, make everything better.
Suffering people will do everything they can to appear as though everything is just fine. And they fool a lot of people. Or they avoid people altogether so they don’t have to put so much draining energy into putting on a front.
Those who are suffering don’t so much need us to fix them, they need us to be there for them.
Jesus called us – the Church – a light on a hill. We shine His light wherever we go. Darkness doesn’t prevail when light is present. And this can and should be applied to our relationships. If someone is struggling in the darkness of depression or some other form of suffering, our very presence should bring light to their darkness.
The surface says: this person is standoffish, aloof, just fine, only interested in small talk, etc…
Compassionate awareness says: this person may be struggling with something much deeper than what I see, maybe I should be an ear for them, or just be with them, it’s the least I could do…
Be compassionately aware of the fact that suffering people usually stay silent. Get past the surface by being in their presence.
3. Joking at Someone’s Expense Costs A Lot
In the past, to have a conversation with a celebrity, you would have to randomly see them in-person. I suppose you could write them a letter, too. But who knows if they would read it?! Yeah, who knows?! Well, we live in different times now. Athletes, celebrities, and average Joe are all able to be reached in a few clicks.
Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and every other social media platform offer us the opportunity to be more pseudo-connected than ever before. We don’t have to have someone’s phone number to communicate. We simply need their Twitter handle, Facebook profile (or page), Instagram handle, YouTube channel, SnapChat handle, etc…
We live in the unique time of the internet and what we say, what we do, can be seen by anyone. So when someone makes a meme about a celebrity and other people think it’s funny and they share it, it goes viral. It goes viral to the point that the celebrity in the meme ends up seeing it.
The interesting thing about this is that the people who usually joke at someone else’s expense have no idea what it’s like to be on the receiving end. At least not on the same scale. And if they do know what it’s like and they still do it… that’s unfortunate.
We all know this from the schoolyard. Joking at someone else’s expense costs a lot. It costs a lot for the person who is the butt of the joke and it could cost a lot for the person who is initiating the joke. It costs the initiator a withdrawal of awareness of another person’s emotions – a cost that will follow them to their marriage, parenting, workplace, and friendships. It costs the person who is joked about a sense of trust toward other people – a cost that will also follow them to their marriage, parenting, workplace, and friendships.
The surface says: it’s no big deal, it’s just a joke, lighten up, let’s just have some fun…
Compassionate awareness says: there is a real human being on the other side of the screen, on the other side of this joke, on the other side of this meme, the cost is too great to simply have a laugh at their expense (and the expense of the initiator of the joke)…
Be compassionately aware to the fact that jokes aren’t always seen in good fun. Words are powerful. Use your words to build up rather than tear down. And stop these things from happening when you can.
4. Sheep Need a Shepherd Whether They Look For One or Not
We all have people in our lives who don’t follow the “Good Shepherd” – Jesus. Many of them appear to have pretty good lives. They are decent and kind. They are good people. They don’t live in any horrible sin (to your knowledge). They help people out when they can. They love their family. They love their friends.
These people are living good lives. Surely a loving God would look at them with favor in the end. They have done enough good that their little sin isn’t really an issue. Surely, if we think this, we are wrong. Good people don’t go to heaven. Forgiven people do.
In the Bible, we are described as sheep and Jesus is described as the shepherd we need. No matter how good we think our friends are who don’t follow Christ, the truth is the same for them as it is for you – they need a shepherd, they need a Savior. They need Jesus.
Good people in our lives need to know the fact that they are sinners and do need a Savior. This isn’t an easy conversation to have. Start with the reason for your hope. Why do you follow Christ? You’re a good person, after all. Share your story.
The surface says: this person is good, decent, and won’t think they need a shepherd, let alone a Savior…
Compassionate awareness says: this person is just like me – they are a sinner in need of the Good Shepherd, the Savior of the world – Jesus Christ.
Be compassionately aware of the fact that no matter how good someone seems, they are in sin without Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.
From Here…
Let’s begin to strive to be compassionately aware of others. Let’s see them the way Jesus sees us – as “sheep without a shepherd.”
We’ll be amazed at the amount of meaningful conversations we are able to have when we simply follow Jesus in this way. We’ll see people see Jesus through our actions.
We have had our blinded eyes opened by the grace of God. Let’s use those eyes to really see people how we should. Let’s see people as God’s creation who are made in His image. Let’s see other people as sheep who are just like us. Let’s see other people as sheep who need a shepherd.
May we open our eyes and see.
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