Some go to college to do it. Some go to parties to do it. Some try new things to do it. Searching. Yearning. There’s a profound reality in the human psyche: we have a sense that we don’t know who we are. You (and everyone else, including me) have talked about trying to truly find yourself.
Who am I? What am I really like? We don’t want to turn out to be carbon copies of our parents or our siblings. We want to be us. Unique and all – even though for much of our lives (growing up at least) we strive to simply fit in. But what does it look like to truly find yourself? Does college work? Do parties work? Does trying new things work? What actually works?
The Only Way to Truly Find Yourself
You and I live in a time (for much of the world) that has become extremely risk and loss averse. We live in bubbles of security systems, loaded hand guns, bulk emergency food kits, insurance of every kind, no climbing trees parenting, and cute little cocoon Christian discipling. Don’t go there – it’s dangerous. That’s a bad neighborhood – avoid it.
The only way to truly find yourself begins with leaving risk aversion and loss aversion. It’s counterintuitive, I suppose, that we see being opposed to losing something in order to actually find ourselves. But you won’t be able to truly find yourself until you’re ready to lose who you’ve become. But it’s a risk! Really? What are you risking? Your lost self? So![shareable]You won’t be able to truly find yourself until you’re ready to lose who you’ve become.[/shareable]
So long as you continue to live in fear, you will not be able to truly find yourself. It just won’t happen. Finding yourself happens in adventure. It happens when you jump all the way in, ready to swim, ready to face what lies beneath the water. But until you jump, until you set aside your opposition to loss and risk, you’ll continue wishing you could find your true self. What’s worth more to you?
Jesus Was Clear
Jesus was bluntly clear when He talked about this subject. This is what He said:
23 And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. 25 For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? (Luke 9)
Jesus didn’t say, “stay in the kiddie pool of life, safe from all risk, all loss, and you’ll surely find yourself.” No, He actually said the opposite. The only way to truly find yourself is to lose yourself. The only way to truly find yourself is to take up a cross and follow the Author of your life, the Author of your faith – Jesus.
Go ahead and continue listening to self-help gurus if you want to, but I’ve advocated for listening to the One who actually knows you, after all, He created you.
Our loss and risk aversion come into play in our faith in a major way. We tend to look at becoming a Christian as a get out of jail free card, but allow me to quote from Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch as they give us a different picture (a biblical one):
To paraphrase Lesslie Newbigin, the gospel is concerned with the completion of God’s purpose in the creation of the world, not – to put it crudely – simply with offering a way of escape for the redeemed soul out of history. It is concerned with the work of God to bring history to its true end, a work to which we are all called to contribute. 1
It’s ironic that the very thing we come to Christ with is the exact opposite life God wants us to live in Him. We come to Him opposed to loss and driven by fear. Then what we find is that God ultimately wants us to live in such a way where we continually deny ourselves and live on mission for Him. Then, in the midst of this, we will truly find ourselves. But not until the cross is taken up and the self is denied.
The other option is simple: live in fear, opposed to loss, opposed to risk, and you’ll lose your life.
To truly live is to lay down your life every moment of every day. Surrendering to Jesus isn’t a one-time occurrence, it’s an ongoing experience. To truly find yourself is to lose yourself every chance you get. Which every second you’re alive is a new chance to do so.[shareable]Surrendering to Jesus isn’t a one-time occurrence, it’s an ongoing experience.[/shareable]
Risk Aversion or Adventure
When your life is given to Christ, you have no life of your own to lose. Risk aversion is a myth. The only risk you really live in at the point of surrendering your life to Christ and going forward is the risk of taking it back. Nothing you have is yours – not even your life.
It is in the context of losing your life and living in the adventure of God’s mission that you truly find yourself.
The choice is clear: find yourself or don’t. Live in fear, opposed to loss, opposed to risk, and you’ll lose yourself for good. Lose yourself in Christ and you’ll truly find yourself. Adventure is what you’re called to.
Serve others. Love others. Mentor others. Bless others. Spread the good news of Christ. And while you’re at it, you’ll find that your true self is in Christ. You’ll have an ‘aha’ moment and realize that your true self has been found.
1 The Faith of Leap by Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch
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