It’s easy for us parents to look at our role as simply protectors and trainers for our children. The world is a very tough place and we need to be on guard, watching out for our children. They need to be trained, to be shown the way to go, and it is our job to show them, to train them. These roles are absolutely needed. There’s another role, though, that we as parents need to adopt for our children.
A New Way to Think About Parenting
Psalm 127:3-5
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Instead of only looking at our role as parents as being protectors and trainers, we can also look at ourselves as senders. I love the imagery that is found in the passage above. Too often we parent our children in a passive way. We protect them from life’s struggles, we shield them from various things, and we end up finding that the shielding doesn’t do much good in the long run.
Think about the relational dynamics that were present when you were in High School. Some of the most sheltered kids growing up became the most rebellious as teenagers, right? So why do we continue to miss this in our own parenting?
Fear
I think that fear holds us back from truly being parents who send our children into the world to make an impact. Think about this: Solomon is saying that children are like arrows going forth from the hand of a warrior. This means that the world will be altered by our children, not that our children will be harmed by the world. Sure, that may happen, and that’s the fear we all have: That the world will beat up our little boy or our little girl; That they will change and become something they’re truly not, losing themselves in the difficulties of life.
The fear is legitimate, but it takes courage to parent in this way despite that fear.
Sharp Arrows
If you truly think about it, your children are the arrows in your quiver whether you look at them like that or not. They will be sent into the world at some point. Some of you will keep them in your quiver longer than others. It’s no coincidence that young adults are staying home longer than they have in the past – they aren’t being sent out into the world. Sure, some may still be home because of the job market, but even more are still home because that is the easier route for them to go.
What are we doing to sharpen the arrows that are in our quivers? What are we doing to prepare our sons/daughters for their moment of being sent into the world? They’re going to be sent at some point and it would be best if they were purposefully and intentionally sharpened beforehand.
3 Ways to Sharpen Your Arrows Before They Are Sent Out
1. Teach them that God has a radical love for them and the world.
Don’t miss this. Too many of you will just nod and move to the next one. Telling your children once is not enough. This has to be a constant thing that is talked about in your household. Too many children grow up and become embittered at the world and the disconnect they see between the world’s evil and the allegedly loving God they grew up knowing.
Part of teaching your children that God loves them and the world is explaining the evils in this world when they come about. Obviously you have to be the judge of when they are ready to hear certain things, but don’t gloss over the realities of life. Utilize tragedy and evil as teachable moments.[shareable]Part of teaching your children that God loves them and the world is explaining the evils in this world when they come about.[/shareable]
2. Go on mission with them.
The world is full of need and followers of Jesus have the answer. Intentionally engage in the mission of God with your children. This will show them that they are not to be passive about God’s mission, but they are to actively pursue it. Serve people in your community with them, go on mission trips with them, serve in the Church with them in some way.
Be creative with this. It takes intentionality.
3. Don’t kill their dreams.
Kids, as you know, have amazing imaginations. Don’t kill their dreams. If they say they want to do something in life, don’t tell them “well, you’ll never be able to do something like that.” Sure, the odds of them doing what they say they want to do may be slim, but it’s not up to you to kill that dream of theirs. If you have a tendency to kill people’s dreams, and you know who you are, read this.[shareable]Kids, as you know, have amazing imaginations. Don’t kill their dreams.[/shareable]
God has some really cool things prepared for your children to do. Don’t be the parent who tells them that they will never amount to anything or never do what it is they desire to do. Don’t be a dream killer because their purpose in the world is bigger than you.[shareable]Don’t be a dream killer because your child’s purpose in the world is bigger than you.[/shareable]
None of This is About You
This may be the biggest stumbling block for truly being parents who send their kids into the world like arrows in the hands of warriors. Parenting your children in a way that would honor God isn’t about you. It’s about God’s kingdom. It’s about enabling your children to be able to live out their God-given purpose in this world. Where you come into play, the part that is about you, is about you being obedient – honoring God in the way that you parent.
There’s a difference between parenting for safety and parenting for Kingdom expansion.[shareable]There’s a difference between parenting for safety and parenting for Kingdom expansion.[/shareable]
Which way will you parent? If you want the latter, the better way, then you have to be intentional.
How are you preparing your children for their God-given purpose in the world?
